Map
of Austin Poetry #161-1
Featured
Poetry Supplement
Theme:
Bad Poetry
Upcoming
Themes:
#162
- Partnered Poets (submissions closed)
#163
- Claus/Claws/Clause
#164
- Remembering Gwendolyn Brooks
#165
- Snowy, dark and deep: tribute to Robert Frost
Send
poems in body of email, no attachments pretty please. Note issue #
and theme on subject line. Include permission to publish. Poets
retain all rights.
I've
had fun with this week's theme: "Bad Poetry." Selections
for your enjoyment:
1.
" The Dog Star" by Danzr Von-Thai
2.
a biopoem by Brenda Roberts
3.
"Advice From The Scholars and Related Bull" by Jean Russell
4.
"What Is Bad Poetry?" by The Quill
5.
"The Critic" by Brian Long
6.
"The Ballad of Fishing Hat Man" by Kit O'Connell
7.
"Paeon to Pee Wee" by Rintin Scrabbleweed
8.
"Cigarette Smoke" by Eric Elton
1.
First up is Danzr Von-Thai from West Virginia:
The
Dog Star
serious
as
a
jew on
a
nuclear fuse
as
I am as
anti-semitic
as
I
am anti-christ
whose
to stop me
Cohen
Albright
Barak
Greenspan
Lieberman
Ginsberg
Christ
no
I
have come
this
far to
bury
a son
of
33
©
Danzr Von-Thai
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2.
Brenda Roberts offers her opinion and a sample of bad poetry.
"The
worst poetry I have ever EVER been forced to read was by a group of
children in the first contest that Texoma Poetry Society sponsored
for the Poetry in Schools program from Poetry Society of Texas. The
fact that it was awful I believe was because instead of using this
poetic form to teach how to relate subjects and moving on to share
better forms or encourage free thought, this teacher put the formula
on the board and told each student in the class to follow it exactly.
I would never use one of their poems as an example but I will write
one of my own using that form.
It
is called a biopoem and has two formats
I
will use format A:
(name)
Brenda
(4
adjectives that describe me) critical, poetic, smiling,
loving
(an
important relationship) daughter of Elery and
Ruby
(lover
of) Cliff
(who
feels -3 feelings) happy, sad, lonely
(who
fears - 3 fears) death, lonliness,
anger
(who
needs - 3 needs) love, health,
happiness
(who
gives - 3 items) time, love, poetry
(who
would like to see 3 items) an end to AIDS, World
Peace,
my lost loved ones again
(resident
of -city, state) Fort Worth Texas
That
is about the least poetic thing I have ever written other than a
grocery list."
Brenda
Roberts
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3.
Jean Russell of Burke, Va. wrote this for a friend who kept telling
her to conform to the rules.
Advice
From The Scholars
And
Related Bull
If
you would only study,
you'd
learn rhythm and ryhme.
You'd
know sonnets and meters
and
make images sublime.
But
you don't go to classes
so
you can't compose a thing
that
sounds very poetic
and
makes the heavens sing.
You
just continue writing
the
most peculiar stuff
and
expect people to listen
when
they have heard enough!
©
Jean Russell, Poets Anonymous
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
4.
"The Quill" tackles bad poetry with:
What
Is Bad Poetry?
What
is it
That
separates great,
excellent,
and bad
poetry?
Critics
are the first
to
cast dirty stones,
yet
they themselves
seem
to never put
their
own lines of
thought
down to
be
seen and judged
in
open viewing.
Who
are we to cast
calumny
upon the
likes
of e.e. cummings
and
Snyder?
But,
once upon a time, editors and
critics
screamed in print
about
poetic wrongs
in
their ways of thought.
J.
London, and H. Miller
hurled
out like yesterday's
garbage
by critics and
editors
for many decades.
Who
are we to say
What
is or is not bad ?
Need
we remind ourselves
All
the men above
now
mark every path
a
poet takes and that
all
are incontestably legends.
What
is bad poetry?
Ask
the critics who
waste
away like dirt
on
the street, still spitting
out
what is bad ...
and
in need of help.
©
2000 The Quill
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
5.
Brian Long, of Austin, might have encountered a critic once or twice.
The
Critic
Hit
the reader hard and early:
always
begin your work with a violence of metaphor.
(...and
just like any animal, a poet
will
leave its scat to mark its limits,
and
I can tell from this piece of shit
that
there is a writer somewhere close,
and
he is most likely wounded--aren't they always?
We
can follow the ink trail into the brush, where...)
Don't
forget the Judas line; deny yourself three times
and
always kneel on one knee along the path
so
that the reader may help you bear the cross.
It
is important to die
(for
the synonyms of the world),
let
them roll the stone and find the tomb empty.
Now,
keys are for opening doors, not for creating your immortality;
paper
is where the words are
penned
like Hindu cattle, and if you must cannabalize,
at
least make it well done
and
quick.
Write
this seven times on ruled paper:
"Talent
is not enough."
and
then eat it, make it a part of you. What comes
out
the other end might just be your best artistic effort,
or
at least your most self-gratifying.
You
suck, genius.
Never
forget that.
Sign
the following forms and your poem will appear
in
our Autumn issue.
©
brian long
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
6.
Kit O'Connell of Austin says his piece on the subject:
The
Ballad of Fishing Hat Man
the
madman
on stage
fishing
hat wearing psychopath
barking
into the mike
ragged
rambles he calls
sonnets
& verse
that
I call
the
screams of a razor's edge
drawing
his own blood
the
skin forms scars
each
time he must
cut
deeper to
strike
home
louder
and
louder
until
the sound
becomes
an
inchoate
howl of
moaning
inebriated
pain
he
bares his soul
but
I
don't
care
to
look
©
Kit O'Connell
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
7.
Rintin Scrabbleweed presumes to explain that "this poem was
inspired by the motto/metaphore 'little strokes fell giant oaks,'
and that Pee-Wee Herman was embarrassed by his arrest for semi-public
wantonness."
Paeon
to Pee-Wee
Little
strokes
Fell
giant ... Pee-Wees!
©
rintin scrabbleweed
Ed's
note: I suspect the nom de plume "rintin scrabbleweed" is
someone's attempt at anonymity. Oh who might he/she be?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
8.
Eric Elton of Austin wrote: "mm...i am dumb and am thinking that
'bad poetry' is just a title and you want any kind of poetry to be
submitted-hell i don't know i'm kinda
tired...so
here is something i wrote one night when i was really tired...small
world"
Cigarette
Smoke
Together
gossiping the tails of the virtue of our lives,
Inhale
the additives
Numb
the senses
I
still see you sitting there and I still feel
Chocolate
cake is fed to one another slowly releasing my pain
Heading
no where till the very next instant of truth
Conquering
my depression, my friends leave
After
the smoke tops the water we’re invaded
No
more solitude, instead you stay with me
I
said what you wanted to hear
Returning
the favor you engulf me in each syllable of the word
Joyous
in our shared state we make the night ours
How
I ache with blight sorrow
Knowingly
killing myself with your poise
Swaying
and tilting my vision is saturated with esurient actions
Gouging
my eyes to persuade them to see otherwise
It
is utterly useless, a barrier is laid
Take
me home so that I can swallow my entire dolor
How
am I suppose to push my heart to beat another beat
Here
in my solitude and heartache I imagine your actions
Fulfilling
your desire rush to be your state
I
am left with nihility
©
1999 Eric Elton
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~